CBT Bristol for bereavement and grief

CBT Bristol to help you overcome bereavement and grief

For many of us, bereavement will be the most distressing experience we will face.  Some of my clients have reported difficulties with bereavement and grief, so I thought it might be helpful to discuss how Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help:

So what are bereavement and grief?

Bereavement, also referred to as grief is what we feel when somebody close to us dies. Bereavement can also be experienced when you suffer other losses, such as the ending of a relationship, loss of a job or a change in circumstances. Fundamentally, bereavement is the process of loss.

Bereavement is experienced by everyone differently, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to grieve and no timescales can be put on the grieving process.

The grieving process is a term used to describe the range of emotional and physical symptoms that occur after a loss. The resulting mix of emotions can be overwhelming and coming to terms with your own feelings is the key to finding peace.

So what does bereavement and grief look like for you?

The way grief affects you depends on many things including the type of loss you have suffered, your upbringing, your religion and/or beliefs, your age, your relationships and your health, both emotionally and physically.

You may feel many different things after someone has died or you have experienced a loss. These can include:

  • Shock – it may take a long time to grasp and accept what has happened. You may feel numb or for some people, you may carry on as if nothing has happened. What has happened does not make sense.
  • Anger – loss can seem cruel and unfair. There can be anger directed at the person or situation that is no longer there. And there can be anger directed at ourselves for things we did or didn’t do, did or didn’t say.
  • Pain – feelings of pain and distress when someone dies can be overwhelming and frightening. There can be an intense physical pain where it truly feels like our heart is breaking.
  • Guilt – a common reaction. You can feel to blame for the situation or feel regret at not doing enough.
  • Longing – thinking that you can hear or see someone who has died is a common experience. It happens because the brain is trying to process and acknowledge the death.
  • Depression – life can no longer feel like it holds any meaning and for some they no longer want to be here.
  • Anxiety – a bereavement can bring on anxiety and panic attacks. It can make us feel out of control and lack perspective on a situation.

CBT Bristol research findings about stages of grief and bereavement:

It is generally accepted that there are several stages of grief/bereavement that we work through to come out of the other side:

  • Accepting that your loss is real, denial. It is very common to refuse to accept that you will not see that person again.
  • Experiencing the pain of grief both physically and emotionally.
  • Depression is very common, you can feel like you are withdrawing from life. It is a normal and appropriate response to a bereavement.
  • Anger, you may feel anger at the person who has died, at yourself, at the world around you.
  • Adjusting to life without the person who has died. Routines changing, thinking about yourself.
  • Putting less emotional energy into grieving and being able to move on. You start to feel hope again. This is called acceptance.

At CBT Bristol, we have noticed that you will probably go through all of these grief and bereavement stages, but you won’t necessarily move smoothly from one to the next.

The grieving process can be a long one, and as stated earlier, there are no timescales or right or wrong way to experience grief and bereavement. It can often be the case that for some who feel that they are recovering or have moved on to find that they have a set back brought on by maybe a memory, a smell of perfume or a song. This again is normal and can be seen positively as the memory of their loved one living on. But understandably it can also be distressing, particularly if it catches you unawares.

It is very important to be able to share your thoughts and feelings around your grief and bereavement as this will enable you to move more smoothly through the grieving process.

If you feel unable to share with family and friends, CBT Bristol and other counselling professionals can help you to overcome grief and bereavement.

CBT Bristol can also support you in making sense of your feelings and guide you through the process.

Over to you: 

If after reading this blog you are still struggling to process your grief and are feeling overwhelmed with painful feelings, distractions and negative thoughts don’t panic or give up just yet.

CBT Bristol bereavement and grief sessions can help you.

So, if you need a bit of extra support and encouragement and a few on line, telephone or face to face CBT sessions why not contact Karen Deeming to arrange an appointment or for a short free introductory chat on 07950 751352 or send an email to: karen@karendeeming.com.

CBT Bristol for bereavement and grief other treatment recommendations:

There are several different options available to support you with managing your grief:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – focuses on how your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs affect your feelings and behaviour and teaches you coping skills to deal with grief.

See more about CBT here: 

Counselling – a talking therapy. Can bring clarity, peace of mind and the answers to the problems that you are struggling with and the unanswered questions you may have.

See more about Counselling here: 

Mindfulness – enhances mental and physical wellbeing. Provides exercises and Meditation techniques to enable you to recognise triggers and help to reduce the overwhelming feelings of grief.

See more about Mindfulness here: 

References

www.Cruse.org.uk

www.facingbereavement.co.uk

www.nhs.uk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CBT Bristol for anxiety

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Bristol for anxiety and stress

CBT Bristol to help you overcome anxiety

Most of my clients over the past years have reported difficulties with anxiety, so I thought it might be helpful to share a few Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) tips:

So what is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal, but often, a disagreeable part of life. It can affect us all in various ways and at different times in our lives.

We will all feel anxious at some point and it is very common to feel tense and unsure about a potentially stressful situation, such as, going for an interview, taking an exam or trying something new. However, for some of us, these feelings are very strong and lasting, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. It is at this point, anxiousness becomes anxiety.

Anxiety is what we feel when we are tense, worried or afraid, often about things that are about to happen or are to happen in the future.

And often about things that we cannot control. Anxiety can make you imagine things are worse than they are and prevent you from carrying out everyday tasks.

There are no clear-cut reasons as to what causes anxiety and why it is worse for some people than others.

There are identifiable factors such as childhood trauma, a divorce, a death, that can be attributed to the onset of a person’s anxiety however, for others there is no obvious identifiable cause, and this can add to the distress and uncertainty that you may be feeling.

CBT Bristol research findings about anxiety symptoms:

Anxiety can affect us through our thought processes, through our feelings and through physical sensations.

We can experience many different ‘signs and symptoms’ of anxiety, but not everybody’s anxiety looks the same.

You may experience or have experienced some of the following:

  • palpitations
  • difficulty in controlling your breathing
  • a need for constant reassurance
  • feeling tense
  • fearing the worst (ie catastrophising)
  • constant worry
  • self-doubt
  • replaying situations in your head over and over and irrational thoughts

Or maybe something different.

So how can CBT Bristol help you to overcome anxiety?

The good news is that anxiety can be managed and reduced. It does not need to control your life. With support you can regain the control. Most importantly, anxiety must not define you as a person.

CBT – focuses on how your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs affect your feelings and behaviour and teaches you coping skills to deal with anxiety.

See more about CBT and CBT Bristol here:

CBT Bristol Tips for anxiety:

 

Step One

When you experience a negative thought, feeling or physical sensation, breathe, pause, step back then ask yourself the following question:

“what do I know?”

“I know that if I allow my negative thoughts to take over it is not healthy for me and leaves me feeling anxious, I also know that though I can’t stop my thoughts, feelings or physical sensations, I can change what happens next, such as, consciously deciding to stop myself from catastrophising or getting too attached to my thoughts.”

“I know that if I say to myself there goes anger, sadness, disappointment, shyness, self consciousness etc rather than saying I am angry, I am sad, I am feeling self conscious, I am disappointed it is more beneficial for my mental and physical health and well being”.

“I know that if I people please or sacrifice my needs to meet other peoples’ needs I will feel more anxious and it more beneficial for my health and well being to not get too attached these thoughts and instead pause step back and imagine that the thoughts are in a bubble floating in the sky, me walking in the woods /beach or that they are passing clouds in the sky . ”

“I know that thoughts aren’t facts”

What’s also important is that I challenge my thoughts, worries, stresses and anxieties by asking myself the question:

What is the evidence/concrete facts to support the believe that I will fail my driving test?”
and: what evidence/concrete facts are there against it?

CBT Bristol tips for anxiety

 

Step Two

If you struggle with anxiety, you are highly likely to have a very loud “inner critic.”

Most of you may already know, however for those of you who are unfamiliar, the inner critic often heightens anxiety, as it is your inner voice or negative chatterbox that often goes something like this:

  • What’s wrong with me?
  • I wish I was as confident as my friends
  • Why can’t I get over this and get a grip?
  • It’s ridiculous feeling so overwhelmed by such a minor event in my life
  • Other people have much bigger problems than me so why am I feeling so low?
  • Why can’t I perform as well as my boss and colleagues at work?
  • I’m a failure in relationships
  • I’m a loser, lazy and selfish blah blah blah…..

Sound familiar? Well you’re not alone in this universal catch-22.

We all have an inner critic, but not all of us let it run riot.

This relentless, negative self talk often expresses criticism, frustration or disapproval about our actions and its frequency, volume or intensity is very different for each us.

CBT Bristol has summarised below, how the inner critic might cause anxiety:

Inner critic dialogue is anxiety-provoking and shaming and so paralyses your sense of motivation and get up and go. It can result in unhealthy behaviours such as avoidance and procrastination, in order to reduce anxiety and stay safe when it is largely not necessary to do so.

In other words, because you are frightened or anxious about a particular situation, you adopt self protection mechanisms and put on your breaks too soon, often depriving yourself of adventure, enjoyment, pleasure and spontaneity.

So anxiety can be very unhealthy for you if you struggle to develop coping mechanisms
It may seem a mammoth task and a huge mountain to climb right now, however, here’s how to turn down the volume of your inner critic and, as I like to call it, my inner DJ’s sound system:

CBT Bristol tips to prevent the inner critic and anxiety taking over:

Awareness is the first step to recognising and letting go of your inner critic. Many of you won’t have even realised its presence until now.

Acknowledge and make friends with your inner critic instead of continually arguing and battling with it.

Using the more playful side of your character and sense of humour, invent a nickname like I did such as DJ, Zippy, Chimp or Top Dog.

If you notice your inner critic or anxiety taking over:

Imagine it is a record turn table so that you can turn the volume down or that it’s a tape, play or film that you can rewind. Slow down. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and gently say no.

It may help to visualize a strong and wise part of yourself gently removing your critic from its stage or soapbox.

Over to you:

If after reading this blog you are still struggling to tame your inner critic, DJ or Zippy and are feeling overwhelmed with distractions and negative thoughts don’t panic or give up just yet.

CBT Bristol anxiety sessions can help you.

So, if you need a bit of extra support and encouragement and a few on line, telephone or face to face CBT sessions why not contact Karen Deeming to arrange an appointment or for a short free introductory chat on 07950 751352 or send an email to: karen@karendeeming.com

CBT Bristol for anxiety other treatment recommendations:

As well as CBT, there are other options available to support you with managing your anxiety:

Counselling – a talking therapy. Can bring clarity, peace of mind and the answers to the problems that you are struggling with.

See more about Counselling here: 

Mindfulness – enhances mental and physical wellbeing. Provides exercises and Meditation techniques to enable you to recognise triggers and reduce anxiety.

See more about Mindfulness here: 

Medication: There are medications available that can help manage some symptoms of anxiety. You will need to speak with your Doctor for further advice around this.

References:

www.mind.org.uk
www.anxietyuk.org.uk
www.counselling-directory.org.uk
Bourne, Edmund J (2015) Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition. California: New Harbinger

CBT Blue Monday and how this and Mindfulness can help you….

CBT Bristol Blue Monday for anxiety, stress and other issues
CBT Blue Monday and how this and Mindfulness can help you….

CBT Blue Monday: a bit of background first then some Blue Monday CBT and Mindfulness tips

Aren’t Januarys tough sometimes? what with post Christmas blues and cold dark nights?

Back by popular demand, this video I created for my coaching business, You Revolution, shows how mindfulness can help you with Blue Monday.

CBT can also help you on Blue Monday.

Both Mindfulness and CBT can help you to reduce stress, panic attacks, anxiety, negative thinking patterns, sleeping difficulties and burnout.

Feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed or depressed because of dark nights and too much rainfall?

Dreading the arrival of your credit card bill this month?

Want to simply curl up in bed beneath your duvet and hibernate for the whole of January?

Feeling disappointed that your New Year Resolution, detox or weight loss programmes aren’t going as well as you had anticipated?

Then you may have fallen victim to the Blue Monday trap.

Following extensive research findings, the third Monday of January, supposedly the most depressing day of the year, has been awarded the gloomy title due to a combination of post-Christmas blues, cold dark nights and the arrival of unpaid credit card bills.

Even though I, Karen Deeming, am doing my dream job, Blue Monday is still always tough

However, what helps me cheer myself up on Blue Monday and get through the day are my daily CBT and mindfulness practices

Also: doing nice things for other people or simply remembering that I have roof over my head, have the pleasure of three good meals a day and I don’t have the misfortune of living in a war zone.

Mindfulness is a technique for reducing stress, exhaustion, high blood pressure, panics, anxiety, and negative thinking patterns which has been widely approved by the international medical community.

It teaches greater awareness of our thoughts, feelings and sensations through simple techniques like visualisation, meditation and gentle movement.

Let me give you a recent, real life example of how mindfulness helps:

Despite a prediction of heavy rain in Somerset, I decided to take out my rickety vintage bicycle “Flo” for an impromptu cycle ride to the local farm shop.

The cycle route from Pilton to Pylle is no stranger to me but today it was a strikingly different experience because I had decided to attempt mindful cycling. In other words, I adopted a small steps approach, focusing on the here and now and the journey rather than a speedy arrival at my destination.

How stunning I chuckled to myself as I was greeted by the distant view of Glastonbury Tor. I even encountered the delightful sound of a trickling stream for the first time too. Slightly distracted by these delicious in the moment experiences, I cycled through an unexpected knee deep, muddy puddle resulting in a near trench foot endangerment.

Fortunately, I escaped lightly and though my socks were thoroughly soaked, a brief recollection of a relentless flooded tent experience at the Glastonbury Festival in 1996 encouraged me to soldier on. What also helped me manage this somewhat unattractive incident, were the charming duo of immaculate cocker spaniels grinning at me from the rear window of a delapidated jeep ahead.

How can CBT also help you on Blue Monday:

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

CBT is an evidence-based, collaborative, solution-focussed form of counselling/therapy approved by the NHS.

CBT is a way of talking about:

how you think about yourself, the world and other people

how what you do affects your thoughts and feelings.

When does CBT help?

CBT has been shown to help with many different types of problems. These include: anxiety, depression, insomnia, panic, phobias (including agoraphobia and social phobia), stress, bulimia, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and psychosis.

CBT may also help if you have difficulties with anger, a low opinion of yourself or physical health problems, like pain or fatigue.

Read more about CBT benefits here

The application of CBT and mindfulness together with my conscious intention to zoom in on the abundance of delightful landscape instead of focusing on the scarcity of sunshine resulted in a highly pleasurable experience.

Moreover though it was forecast to train at 11am it didn’t actually rain until 11.10am when I was safely home and dry nestled up to the cat on the kitchen sofa.

Over to you

If after reading this blog you are still struggling to motivate yourself on Blue Monday or indeed anytime in 2019, why not take this one small step today by booking a CBT session or by signing up to one of my mindfulness one day or eight week courses where you can meet like minded people and achieve life changing results!!

If you have decided to consider CBT, and are not quite ready yet to make contact or to arrange your first session:

Read more about CBT benefits here

My Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) specialisms include though are not limited to:

  • obsessive compulsive disorder
  • low self esteem and shyness
  • anger, anxiety, pain and stress management

Click here for details about my CBT qualifications, experience and accreditations.

See my Client Testimonials here.

You can book your appointment here or you can contact me on 07950 751352 or by emailing: info@karendeeming.com.

My Bristol CBT Practice address is: 14 Orchard Street, Bristol BS1 5EH.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – how can it help you?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - how can it help you?

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

CBT is an evidence-based, collaborative, solution-focussed form of counselling/therapy approved by the NHS.

It is a way of talking about:

  • how you think about yourself, the world and other people
  • how what you do affects your thoughts and feelings.

CBT can help you to change how you think (‘Cognitive’) and what you do (‘Behaviour’).

These changes can help you to feel better. Unlike some of the other talking treatments, CBT focuses on the ‘here and now’ problems and difficulties. Instead of focusing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past, CBT looks for ways to improve your state of mind now.

When does CBT help?

CBT has been shown to help with many different types of problems. These include: anxiety, depression, insomnia, panic, phobias (including agoraphobia and social phobia), stress, bulimia, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and psychosis.

CBT may also help if you have difficulties with anger, a low opinion of yourself or physical health problems, like pain or fatigue.

How does CBT work?

CBT can help you to make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into smaller parts. This makes it easier to see how they are connected and how they affect you.

These parts are:

A Situation – a problem, event or difficult situation.

From this can follow:

Thoughts
Emotions
Physical feelings
Actions

Each of these areas can affect the others. How you think about a problem can affect how you feel physically and emotionally.

There are helpful and unhelpful ways of reacting to most situations, depending on how you think about it. The way you think can be helpful – or unhelpful.

What’s most helpful is to approach issues with a more positive CBT mindset.

An example using CBT techniques:

The Situation
You’ve had a bad day, feel fed up, so go out shopping. As you walk down the road, someone you know walks by and, apparently, ignores you. This starts a cascade of:

Thoughts:
Unhelpful: He/she ignored me – they don’t like me

Helpful: He/she looks a bit wrapped up in themselves – I wonder if there’s something wrong?

Emotional Feelings:
Unhelpful: Feelings Low, sad and rejected

Helpful: Concerned for the other person, positive

Physical:
Unhelpful: Stomach cramps, low energy, feel sick

Helpful: None – feel comfortable

Action:
Unhelpful: Go home and avoid them

Helpful: Get in touch to make sure they’re OK

The same situation has led to two very different results, depending on how you thought about the situation and:

whether you used another helpful CBT technique: “thoughts aren’t facts”.

How you think has affected how you felt and what you did. In the example in the left hand column, you’ve jumped to a conclusion without very much evidence for it – and this matters, because it’s led to:
having a number of uncomfortable feelings behaving in a way that makes you feel worse.

If you go home feeling depressed, you’ll probably brood on what has happened and feel worse. If you get in touch with the other person, there’s a good chance you’ll feel better about yourself.

If you avoid the other person, you won’t be able to correct any misunderstandings about what they think of you – and you will probably feel worse.

This ‘vicious circle’ can make you feel worse. It can even create new situations that make you feel worse. You can start to believe quite unrealistic (and unpleasant) things about yourself. This happens because, when we are distressed, we are more likely to jump to conclusions and to interpret things in extreme and unhelpful ways.

CBT can help you to break this vicious circle of altered thinking, feelings and behaviour.

When you see the parts of the sequence clearly, you can change them – and so change the way you feel. CBT aims to get you to a point where you can ‘do it yourself’, and work out your own ways of tackling these problems.

What does CBT involve?

The sessions:

You can do CBT individually or with a group of people, or even a self-help book or computer programme.

In England and Wales, two computer-based programmes have been approved for use by the NHS. Fear Fighter is for people with phobias or panic attacks; Beating the Blues is for people with mild to moderate depression.

If you have individual CBT therapy:

You will usually meet with a CBT therapist for between 5 and 20, weekly, or fortnightly sessions. Each session will last 50 minutes.

In the first 2-4 sessions, the CBT therapist will check that you can use this sort of treatment and you will check that you feel comfortable with it.

The CBT therapist will also ask you questions about your past life and background.

Although CBT concentrates on the here and now, at times you may need to talk about the past to understand how it is affecting you now.

You decide what you want to deal with in the short, medium and long term. You and the CBT therapist will usually start by agreeing on what to discuss that day.

How effective is CBT?

CBT is one of the most effective treatments for conditions where anxiety or depression is the main problem.

It is the most effective psychological treatment for moderate and severe depression.

CBT is as effective as antidepressants for many types of depression.

If you have decided to consider Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and are not quite ready yet to make contact or to arrange your first session:

By clicking on the links below you can find out more about:

My Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) specialisms include though are not limited to:

  • obsessive compulsive disorder
  • low self esteem and shyness
  • anger, anxiety, pain and stress management

Click here for details about my CBT qualifications, experience and accreditations.

See my Client Testimonials here.

You can book your appointment here or you can contact me on 07950 751352 or by emailing: info@karendeeming.com.

My Bristol CBT Practice address is: 14 Orchard Street, Bristol BS1 5EH.

Mindfulness, emotional intelligence, focus, personal development and confidence building book recommendations

blog feb 2018

Struggling to entertain yourself whilst you are snowed in?

 

We live at a time when there are more self-help books on the market than any one person could hope to consume in a lifetime. But in today’s world, finding the time to read even one book, let alone a dozen, can still pose quite a challenge.

To make it easier for people like you with hectic lifestyles, rather than spend hours looking for the most acclaimed self help book, I have come up with the most popular mindfulness, self-improvement and counselling books from my client library:

Key themes covered include: mindfulness, emotional intelligence, focus, personal development and confidence building:

 

1. Screw Work Let’s Play by John Williams

2. Free Range Humans by Marianne Cantwell

3. Stop Talking Start Doing by Shaa Wasmund

4. What’s Stopping You?: Why Smart People Don’t Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can by Robert Kelsey

5. Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Professor Mark Williams, University of Oxford and Danny Penman

6. The Artist’s way by Julia Cameron

7. Ask and it is Given: How to Manifest the Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks

8. The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

9. How to Save an Hour Every Day by Michael Heppell

10. Overcoming procrastination by Dr Windy Dryden

11. Subpersonalties by Dr John Rowan

12. Meeting the shadow by Connie Zweig

13. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

14. It’s not how good you are it’s how good you want to be by Paul Arden

15. Freedom from your inner critic by Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss

16. Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships by John Welwood

17. Sane New world by Ruby Wax

18. The Chimp Paradox by Stephen Peters

19. The six pillars of self esteem by Nathaniel Branden

20. Boundaries and Relationships by Charles Whitfield

21. Boundaries where you end and I begin by Anne Katherine

22. The Self-Acceptance Project: How to Be Kind and Compassionate Toward Yourself in Any Situation by Tami Simon

23. The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free From Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry
by John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert

24. The Compassionate Mind Approach to Overcoming Anxiety (Compassion Focused Therapy) by Dennis Tirch

25. The little book of Ikigai – The essential Japanese way to finding your purpose in life by Ken Mogi

26. What you think is what you get – An introductory textbook for the study of the Alexander Technique by Donald L Weed

 

This will keep you out of mischief on a cold winter’s evening tucked up with the cat, dog or your laptop on the sofa or when later in the year you are sipping a refreshing cold gin and tonic on a sunny beach

so as one of our favourite authors states: “stop talking start doing” …….

 

Blue Monday-Mindfulness tips to beat stress, anxiety and depression

Aren’t Januarys tough sometimes? what with post Christmas blues and cold dark nights?

 

Back by popular demand, this video I created for my coaching business, You Revolution, shows how mindfulness can help you with Blue Monday. Mindfulness can also help you to reduce and overcome anger outbursts, stress, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, negative thinking patterns, high blood pressure, low self esteem and exhaustion.

 

Feeling low or depressed because of dark nights and too much rainfall?

Dreading the arrival of your credit card bill this month?

Want to simply curl up in bed beneath your duvet and hibernate for the whole of January?

Feeling disappointed that your New Year Resolution, detox or weight loss programmes aren’t going as well as you had anticipated?

Then you may have fallen victim to Blue Monday trap. Following extensive research findings, the third Monday of January, supposedly the most depressing day of the year, has been awarded the gloomy title due to a combination of post-Christmas blues, cold dark nights and the arrival of unpaid credit card bills.

Even though I, Karen Deeming, am doing my dream job, Blue Monday is still always tough, however, what helps me cheer myself up and get through the day is my daily mindfulness practice, doing nice things for other people or simply remembering that I have roof over my head, have the pleasure of three good meals a day and I don’t have the misfortune of living in a war zone.

 

Mindfulness is a technique for reducing stress, exhaustion, high blood pressure, panics, anxiety, and negative thinking patterns which has been widely approved by the international medical community. It teaches greater awareness of our thoughts, feelings and sensations through simple techniques like visualization, meditation and gentle movement.

Let me give you a recent, real life example of how mindfulness helps:

 

Despite a prediction of heavy rain in Somerset a few days ago, I decided to take out my rickety vintage bicycle “Flo” for an impromptu cycle ride to the local farm shop. As she had been snuggling up to the lawn mower for most of December it was no easy task to take Flo out of the shed, nonetheless I still proceeded to do so.

The cycle route from Pilton to Pylle is no stranger to me but today it was a strikingly different experience because I had decided to attempt mindful cycling. In other words, I adopted a small steps approach, focusing on the here and now and the journey rather than a speedy arrival at my destination.

How stunning I chuckled to myself as I was greeted by the distant view of Glastonbury Tor. I even encountered the delightful sound of a trickling stream for the first time too. Slightly distracted by these delicious in the moment experiences, I cycled through an unexpected knee deep, muddy puddle resulting in a near trench foot endangerment.

Fortunately, I escaped lightly and though my socks were thoroughly soaked, a brief recollection of a relentless flooded tent experience at the Glastonbury Festival in 1996 encouraged me to soldier on. What also helped me manage this somewhat unattractive incident, were the charming duo of immaculate cocker spaniels grinning at me from the rear window of a delapidated jeep ahead. Ten minutes or so later I noticed a distinct change in the earlier calm blissful atmosphere and it suddenly struck me that I had entered into the realms of a busy, treadmill resembling, A road……

Anyway. The reason I’m writing this blog for you is not just to share the awesomeness of Pilton landscape(though it ‘s definitely a worthwhile visit).

 

It’s also this:

The application of mindfulness together with my conscious intention to zoom in on the abundance of delightful landscape instead of focusing on the scarcity of sunshine resulted in a highly pleasurable experience.

 

Moreover though it was forecast to train at 11am it didn’t actually rain until 11.10am when I was safely home and dry nestled up to the cat on the kitchen sofa.

 

Over to you

 

The ability to achieve a successful work life balance in order to live more creatively and fully has never been more important than in today’s society. Unless you take more quality time on your own, you will always experience emotional and physical difficulties from the beginning of your working life until the grave. Health, well-being and mindfulness workshops are our passion at You Revolution that’s why we pride ourselves in inspiring people, like you, to find balance in work and play and in your mind and body and to experience being in the flow.

We also provide the ideal playground and tools to empower people, like you, to overcome issues that are bothering you. This includes learning practical skills that you can use in everyday life and learning techniques to identify your triggers and to put a stop to any unhelpful behavioural patterns.

If after reading this blog you are still struggling to motivate yourself on Blue Monday or indeed anytime in 2017, why not take this one small step today by signing up to one of our mindfulness one day or eight week courses where you can meet like minded people and achieve life changing results!!

 

Alternatively, if you don’t feel ready for a course just yet we also offer on line or face to face counselling sessions too.

Make it happen Stop thinking, Start doing !!!

Why not call Karen to have an informal chat or to book an appointment by calling 07950 751352.

Alternatively you can email me on: info@karendeeming.com

Mindfulness Tips and Benefits

 

you_revolution17 jan2015

According to Oxford University Mindfulness Professors, thousands of peer-reviewed scientific papers prove that mindfulness enhances mental and physical wellbeing and reduces chronic pain.

So if you want to reduce anxiety, stress, depression, exhaustion, physical pain, they all decrease with regular sessions of mindfulness exercises and meditations.

Mindfulness Benefits

 

Mindfulness can help you to reduce anxiety, stress, depression, and exhaustion

It can also help and teach you how to:

  • improve your reaction times at home and at work
  • rebalance your nervous system
  • regulate your emotions and moods
  • overcome exhaustion, procrastination and low-self esteem
  • accept yourself for who you are
  • achieve greater success levels in work and relationships
  • reclaim your capacity for fun, humour, excitement and joy

Another benefit of mindfulness is that it enhances memory retention and an increase in mental and physical stamina.

Research indicates that those of us who practice mindfulness regularly are calmer, happier, more contented and less prone to psychological distress.

Some Mindfulness Tips

 

As well as delivering Mindfulness courses, I also find it helpful to introduce some Mindfulness techniques and ideas during individual counselling and psychotherapy sessions.

Often these clients say that whilst they find the Mindfulness downloads that I recommend they try at home helpful, they are not sure whether they are doing the Mindfulness exercises correctly so here’s what I encourage my clients to do:

1. Regardless of what happens (eg if you fall asleep, lose concentration, keep thinking of other things or focusing on the wrong bit of the body, or not feeling anything), just do it! These are your experiences in the moment. Just be aware of them.

2. If your mind is wandering a lot, simply note the thoughts (as passing events) and then bring the mind gently back to the meditation.

3. Let go of ideas of “success “,  ” failure “,  ” doing it well “, or   “trying to purify the body “. This is not a competition. It is not a skill for which you need to strive. The only discipline involved is regular and frequent practice. Just do it with an attitude of openness and curiosity.

4. Let go of any expectations of what the mindfulness meditation will do for you. Imagine it as a seed you have just planted. The more you poke around and interfere, the less it will be able to develop. So with the meditation, just give it the right conditions – peace and quiet, regular and frequent practice. That is all. The more you try to influence what it will do for you, the less it will do.

5. Try approaching your experience in each moment with the attitude: “Ok that’s just the way things are right now “. If you try to fight off unpleasant thoughts, feelings and body sensations, the upsetting feelings will only distract you from doing anything else. Be aware, be non-striving, be in the moment, accept things as they are. Just do it.

6. When you experience a negative thought, feeling or physical sensation, breathe, pause, step back then ask yourself the following question:

“what do I know?”

“I know that if I allow my negative thoughts to take over it is not healthy for me and leaves me feeling anxious, I also know that though I can’t stop my thoughts, feelings or physical sensations, I can change what happens next, such as, consciously deciding to stop myself from catastrophising or getting too attached to my thoughts.”

“I know that thoughts aren’t facts”

 

I’ll end with my favourite two quotes:

“If you never give up you never fail”

“Small steps are better than no steps”

 

Vulnerabilty, Glastonbury Festival and mindful running

Glastonbury Festival Site

Whilst I was happily jogging through the Glastonbury Festival site this morning, I began to reflect on all the artists who had played at the pyramid stage. For some reason Amy Winehouse immediately popped into my head.

In that moment, I was reminded of an article that I wrote in 2011 “Vulnerability Friend or Foe” that many of my clients and readers liked at the time so I thought why not share it with the Being Practice community too. Here is the blog:

Continue reading

Taming inner critics, DJs and Zippy

Most of you may already know, however for those of you who are unfamiliar, the inner critic is your inner voice or negative chatterbox that often goes something like this:

What’s wrong with me?

I wish I was as confident as my friends

Why can’t I get over this and get a grip?

It’s ridiculous feeling so overwhelmed by such a minor event in my life

Other people have much bigger problems than me so why am I feeling so low?

Why can’t I perform as well as my boss and colleagues at work?

Why do I always leave everything to the last minute?

I’m a failure in relationships

I’m a loser, lazy and selfish blah blah blah…..

Why can’t I stand up for myself?

I’m fed up of people pleasing it’s draining me of my life energy

Sound familiar? Well you’re not alone in this universal catch-22.

We all have an inner critic, but not all of us let it run riot.

Continue reading

Blue Monday-Mindfulness tips to beat stress, anxiety and depression

Aren’t Januarys tough sometimes? what with post Christmas blues and cold dark nights?

This video which Founder of the Being Practice, Karen Deeming, produced for her Coaching Agency, You Revolution,  shows how mindfulness can help you with Blue Monday. Mindfulness can also help you to reduce and overcome anger outbursts, stress, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, negative thinking patterns, high blood pressure, low self esteem and exhaustion.

Have you noticed that you’re feeling a bit more under the weather and more tired than usual because of the long dark nights or overspending at Christmas?

or are you feeling disappointed that your New Year’s Resolution or diet aren’t going as well as you had hoped?

Well you’re not alone in this dilemma, because the third Monday in January, supposedly the most depressing day of the year has now got an official name

 

Do you know what it is?

Blue Monday!!!

You may be doing a dream job, even then though, Blue Monday can still be tricky especially having to climb out of that lovely warm duvet before 8am

What helps me to cheer myself up on Blue Monday is my daily mindfulness practice, or simply snuggling upto the cat on the sofa.

Mindfulness, widely approved by the international medical community is a technique for reducing stress, exhaustion, high blood pressure, panics, anxiety, and negative thinking patterns

It teaches greater awareness of our thoughts, feelings and sensations through simple techniques like visualization, meditation, gentle movement and yoga you don’t need to sit on a mountain in the Himalyas to do it either

Let me share with you an example of how mindfulness can help you:

Despite a heavy rain prediction here in Somerset a few days ago I decided to cycle to the local farm shop.

The cycle route from Pilton to the farm shop is no stranger to me but today it was a strikingly different experience because I had decided to attempt mindful cycling.

In other words, I adopted a small steps approach, focusing on the here and now and the journey rather than a speedy arrival at my destination.

How stunning I chuckled to myself as I was greeted by the distant view of Glastonbury Tor. Slightly distracted by these delicious in the moment experience, I cycled through a muddy puddle resulting in drenched socks.

What helped me overcome the soggy socks incident, were the charming duo of cocker spaniels grinning at me from the rear window of a scruffy jeep ahead.

So, good news, mindfulness and focusing on exquisite landscape instead of the lack of sunshine resulted in a highly pleasurable experience

And you can achieve this positive mindset too.

If after listening to this clip or reading this blog you are still struggling to motivate yourself on Blue Monday or indeed anytime in 2015.

Why not take this one small step today by contacting me Karen Deeming to find out more about mindfulness or about on line counselling sessions:

e: info@thebeingpractice.com

t: 07950 751352