{"id":751,"date":"2015-08-06T15:45:34","date_gmt":"2015-08-06T15:45:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thebeingpractice.com\/?p=751"},"modified":"2015-09-17T12:27:00","modified_gmt":"2015-09-17T12:27:00","slug":"tip-seven-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/06\/tip-seven-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes\/","title":{"rendered":"Tip seven for people with hectic lifestyles who want to make positive life or career changes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebeingpractice.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/icons-for-campaign-monitor_6.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-640\" src=\"http:\/\/www.thebeingpractice.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/icons-for-campaign-monitor_6.jpg\" alt=\"icons for campaign monitor_6\" width=\"175\" height=\"102\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Do you have a hectic lifestyle and want to make positive life changes but precious little time to make them?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For those of you who didn\u2019t get the opportunity to read tips one, two, three, four, five and six of my blog for people with hectic lifestyles who want to make positive life or career changes see:<\/p>\n<p>Tip Six: http:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/12\/tip-six-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes\/<\/p>\n<h2><strong>For those of you who did read my other tips, you will recall me saying that over the next few months, I\u2019ll be sharing with you the mindfulness, self help and personal development techniques and tips that helped me to:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>escape the corporate cage, that is, my well-paid secure job and hectic lifestyle in London.<\/li>\n<li>move from\u00a0 London to live in the idyllic countryside and do my dream job as a successful Psychotherapist, Coach and Mindfulness Teacher helping 1000s of clients at my Liverpool Street and Harley Street Practices and\u00a0 nowadays at my online, Bristol and Somerset Practices sometimes advising film Directors, such as Mike Leigh, on the authenticity of film narratives.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Though I am now doing my dream job, living in a delightful Somerset village and have many tools at my disposal, life is occasionally still tough so I\u2019ll also send you some tips to help you remain motivated, and focused when you are feeling stuck, overwhelmed, lost or you are falling victim to \u201dl\u2019m too busy and don\u2019t have enough time\u201d and procrastination trap.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Tip for week Seven,\u00a0identifying and working with subpersonalities to improve your decision making skills:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>So what is a subpersonality?<\/p>\n<p>Most of us have had the experience of being \u2018taken over\u2019 by a part of ourselves which we didn\u2019t know was there. We say \u2018I don\u2019t know what got into me.\u2019<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Here are a few short definitions:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>1 A semi permanent and semi autonomous region of the personality capable of acting as a person.<\/p>\n<p>2. Subpersonalities are psychological satellites, coexisting as a multitude of lives within the overall medium of our personality. Each subpersonality has a style and a motivation of its own, often strikingly dissimilar from those of the others. Another way of describing it is that subpersonalities are the people inside us and that each of us is a crowd.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Psychologist, Miller Mair offers a more elaborate description:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cPerhaps it is easiest to introduce the idea of \u2018self\u2019 as a community of selves\u2019 by referring to the smallest form of community, namely a community of two persons. Most of us have probably, at some time, found ourselves talking or acting as if we were two people rather than one. We talk sometimes of being in \u2018two minds\u2019 about something, part of you wanting to do one thing and part wanting to do something else. Quite often we hear people talk of having to \u2018battle\u2019 with themselves, as if one aspect of themselves was in conflict with another.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>During my MA training as a Psychotherapist, I was very fortunate to be taught about subpersonalities by Dr John Rowan who has written extensively about this topic.\u00a0More recently though, at a one day workshop the Trainer, named Peter, was very brave in naming a few of his own subpersonalities: Peter Pan, Perfect Peter, Promiscuous Peter etc.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Below is a collage that I created of my own subpersonalities whilst I was a MA Psychotherapy student.<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebeingpractice.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/you_revolution17-jan2015.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-769\" src=\"http:\/\/www.thebeingpractice.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/you_revolution17-jan2015-300x261.png\" alt=\"you_revolution17 jan2015\" width=\"300\" height=\"261\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>For example, the angel figure at the bottom of the collage represents my compliant, goody two shoes subpersonality and the headmaster with an accompanying wooden cane at the top of the image symbolizes my inner critic subpersonality.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Do you recall Mr Men, <\/strong><strong>series of children\u2019s books by British author Roger Hargreaves in the 1970s?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The series features characters with names such as Mr Tickle, Mr Happy, Mr Forgetful, Mr Daydream, Mr Uppity, Mr Silly, Mr Messy, Mr Funny, Mr Mean, Mt Chatterbox, Mr Nosey, Mr Greedy, Mr Impossible, Mr Strong, Mr Lazy, Mr Cheerful etc who have personalities and physical attributes based on their names. Perhaps Hargreaves was referring to his own subpersonalities here?<\/p>\n<h2><strong>As Stephanie Foley puts it in her very helpful you tube clip: <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Subpersonalities are habits or patterns of behaviour that we have followed since childhood: eg inner child, the very responsible one, the rebel, the organiser, the controller, the adventurer, the saboteur, the aesthete or the worker.<\/p>\n<p>By recognising and working with subpersonalities she argues that the conformist can be transformed into someone more adaptable, a rebel tendency can become innovation or maybe the rebel and the conformist can work together and develop a new sense of leadership.<\/p>\n<p>See the clip here: https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xbqZKNsl7A8<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Often our subpersonalities are battling with one another and so can cloud our judgements or make us appear indecisive especially in the work place.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>So as I see it, if we acquaint ourselves with our subpersonalities we can then identify the perfect environment in which they might blossom and thrive (ie create the ideal soil that promotes grow).<\/p>\n<p>Subsequently we can establish a middle ground between those that are in opposition with one another such as the bully at work and the meek mild subpersonality at home. In other words, attempt to harmonize our subpersonalities so that we feel less fragmented and more whole.<\/p>\n<p>By turning down the volume of the bully at work, the gentler side of one\u2019s personality can emerge in order to make more balanced decisions and a more pleasurable and motivating office environment for work colleagues.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>How does this relate to my personal story then? <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The inner knowledge of my subpersonalities has helped me enormously to make my life work. In the context of this blog though, I\u2019ll focus on the most appropriate examples.<\/p>\n<p>As I explained earlier, two of the hardest life challenges I have needed to face so far was deciding whether or not to:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>escape the corporate cage, that is, my well-paid secure job and;<\/li>\n<li>leave behind my hectic London lifestyle and Harley Street Private Practice to live in the idyllic countryside and do my dream job as a successful Psychotherapist, Coach and Mindfulness Teacher at my Bristol and Somerset Practices.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>The major conflict here was between my overly cautious risk averse subpersonality \u2018Cautious Karen\u2019 and my adventurer and thirst for knowledge and new experiences subpersonality \u2018Curious Karen.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, following a number of lengthy debates between the two subpersonalties, Curious Karen managed to persuade Cautious Karen that both decisions would enhance my quality of life and achieve a healthy work life balance.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>What can you do about subpersonality inner conflicts?<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Be honest with yourself and acknowledge that you are probably struggling to make decisions as a result of subpersonality internal battles. Naturally, the reason will be different for each person and remember you\u2019re not alone in this very common dilemma\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Take control of your subpersonalities and encourage them talk to one another.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Over to you:\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>If after reading this blog you are still struggling to reach decisions and are feeling overwhelmed with distractions and negative thoughts because of this, don\u2019t panic or give up just yet.<\/p>\n<h3>Counselling, psychotherapy sessions or a personal development or mindfulness course can help you. I will also be writing a more detailed blog\u00a0solely devoted to\u00a0subpersonalties in the next few weeks so watch this space!!!<\/h3>\n<h3><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-family: 'Georgia','serif';\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: small;\">So, if you need a bit of extra support and encouragement and a few on line, telephone or face to face counselling or mindfulness sessions why not contact Karen Deeming to arrange an appointment\u00a0or for a short free introductory chat on 07950 751352 or send\u00a0an email to:\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"mailto:info@karendeeming.com\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-size: small;\">info@karendeeming.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: #000000; font-size: small;\">.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have a hectic lifestyle and want to make positive life changes but precious little time to make them? For those of you who didn\u2019t get the opportunity to read tips one, two, three, four, five and six of my blog for people with hectic lifestyles who want to\u2026 <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/06\/tip-seven-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":837,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tip seven for people with hectic lifestyles who want to make positive life or career changes -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/06\/tip-seven-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tip seven for people with hectic lifestyles who want to make positive life or career changes -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you have a hectic lifestyle and want to make positive life changes but precious little time to make them? For those of you who didn\u2019t get the opportunity to read tips one, two, three, four, five and six of my blog for people with hectic lifestyles who want to\u2026 Continue reading\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/06\/tip-seven-for-people-with-hectic-lifestyles-who-want-to-make-positive-life-or-career-changes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Coaching &amp; Counselling Specialist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-08-06T15:45:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-09-17T12:27:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.karendeeming.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/icons-for-campaign-monitor_6.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"175\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"102\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" 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